


I Broke Your Heart And You Burried Mine

by orphan_account



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Boys In Love, Depression, M/M, Suicide Attempt, drug mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-28
Updated: 2017-05-28
Packaged: 2018-11-05 20:45:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11021268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "Michael, you fill my blood with a sweet poison like a drug I never want to be off of.I look forward to waking up just to spend my day with you and I pray for the night so we can lay in bed together, I open my eyes to see you, I speak to talk to you." Michael's lips parted, eyes opening with his eyebrows knitted together and Ashton was closer, his palm resting against his red cheek. "And it's so fucking selfish but I'm not letting you take yourself from me."





	I Broke Your Heart And You Burried Mine

**Author's Note:**

> This is pointless. No one asked.
> 
> Listen to Broken by Lund on loop !!

Michael couldn't even think properly, but he does know it's for the best.

Because if he was properly thinking he wouldn't be balancing on the edge of the roof, his arms out by his side as he walks down the perimeter of the building. He leaned closer to the building's ground as he drank the last of his whiskey, telling himself he could never be drunk enough to make the decision.  

_He wouldn't care._

He tells himself not to be selfish, with ten more minutes of his brain yelling at himself and the rush he felt when his foot almost slipped. Michael clumsily turned around, able to do so as the slab was fairly thick, and before he knows it his eyes are closed into a moment of peace. He leans the wrong direction, he knows he is and he so badly wants to feel the moment of free as he falls off the building.

_You're doing him a favor._

_You're doing yourself a favor._

Michael opens his eyes and a single tear runs down his cheek, his small right hand constricting around the neck of the glass bottle. Before he had properly fallen, he felt arms wrap around his waist as he began to step onto nothing, and he's pulled to the middle of the roof.

It was then that Michael let out a plead, trying to tear himself from the familiar arms and run off the building, but Ashton had always been stronger than him.

Physically and emotionally, which is most likely why he was able to disappoint Michael like everyone else had.

"Michael," The honey-blond muttered at the yelling boy with tears running down his face, the whiskey bottle shattering onto the concrete.

"No," Michael's head shook wildly, and he finally managed to push himself back, falling onto the ground with his head ducked. "Don't try to act like you care." His palms were cut from the broken class, but Michael hadn't paid attention nor had he cared, for the pain in his heart and brain were much more prominent. 

"I'm the person who cares the most," Ashton sighed, crouching down and swiping the shards away cautiously before he placed his hand on Michael's arm for comfort.The younger boy instantly jerked his arm back and stumbled up quickly. He hadn't said anything, only starting to walk back towards the door that led to the stairs. Ashton instantly chased after him, following behind. "Nothing can change my love for you-"

"Don't even start," Michael scoffed and his voice started to raise, startling Ashton as the boy was never one to raise his voice in times like these. "If you really loved me you wouldn't do shit like this." His voice was wavering, and he moved even faster down the stairs, his eyes on his feet as they moved awkwardly down each step. Michael ignored Ashton as best he could, making his way through the hallways of the apartment building.

"Michael don't do this," Ashton jogged faster to catch up to the speedy boy, trying to grab his wrist and pull him back but he was pushed back abruptly, causing him to cease all his actions. The blond boy had tears dripping from his chin, eyebrows furrowed as they stood in front of the apartment door they share together  "I need you."

"Fuck you," Michael scoffed, turning back around and he swung the door open and rushed to their bedroom that held so many memories even the thought of one drove him crazy. "Fuck you for only caring because I'm finally gonna kill myself."

Ashton was unsure of what to do as Michael pulled open the dresser draw with miscellaneous items, instead just watching with his heart racing and shattering by every second. "You're not going to kill yourself."

"I'm not?" Michael had let out a mix of a laugh and scoff, drawing out a handgun and at that moment Ashton had panicked, stepping closer. "Tell me one good reason why I shouldn't pull the trigger on myself." Michael had then yelled, stepping closer to Ashton as well and the tears started to stream faster.

The gun was pointed at his head, shaking violently from hysteria running through Michael. He was experiencing more emotions than he ever had at once. Pain, Anger, Dejection, Hopelessness. Love.

"When I woke up the next morning my first thought was you," Ashton hesitantly stepping forward, ignoring the black weapon and his eyes focused on the intoxicated emerald ones he never wants to miss. Michael had stepped back, hitting the wall and squeezing his eyes shut, head cocked to the side. "When Calum had told me I ran into his apartment crying like I never have before, giving him confessions of that night with guilt, my first thought was of how you were. When I came back to our apartment I wasn't worried about my lack of shelter but how you were feeling."

Michael had attempted to ignore the words Ashton was staying. Somehow, he had managed to stay calm and despite the sincerity in his voice, there was a voice in Michael head that had told him everything was a lie. It was a voice he knew he should never believe but it always interfered with his trust. "Michael, you fill my blood with a sweet poison like a drug I never want to be off of.

I look forward to waking up just to spend my day with you and I pray for the night so we can lay in bed together, I open my eyes to see you, I speak to talk to you." Michael's lips parted, eyes opening with his eyebrows knitted together and Ashton was closer, his palm resting against his red cheek. "And it's so fucking selfish but I'm not letting you take yourself from me."

"How could you ever love someone who is so pitifully weak?" Michael whispered and his hand lowered, his finger moving away from the trigger as his eyes dilated at the sight of the man close to him.

"Because your depression isn't who you really are," The gun clattered against the wood floor. "I know who you truly are, Michael. And you're beautiful."

"You're the only reason why I haven't yet ended my life." Michael's eyes slipped closed so another tear could easily spill against Ashton's hand.

"You should be the reason for keeping yourself alive."

"I'm not good enough."

Ashton sighed softly, using his other hand that was adjacent to Michael's waist to fix the wild blond hair before placing it on his other cheek. "Can you promise me something?"

Ashton took Michael's slow nod, moving his hands from the younger boy's cheeks and to his waist that was covered with his baggy sweatpants he basically lives in. "Try." Michael looked at him with a moment of confusion, pursing his lips together. "I know you want to be happy, Michael, so try to tell yourself you're more than enough even if you don't believe it at the time. Even when you do believe it."

Michael instantly nodded, and Ashton smiled down at his boyfriend who has tears stained on his cheeks and eyes starting to grow puffy. "And I'll always be there to tell you exactly that."

"I love you, so much it hurts." Michael whispered after he went on his toes to pull Ashton into an even hug, their arms wrapped tight around each other. "Please, don't do it again."

In the morning, Michael had woken up early and he had managed to ignore his pounding head ache. He woke up on Ashton's bare chest with their legs entwined together like vines. It felt like he hadn't been with him like this for year but it really had been days.

Last night wasn't the worst, Michael could only visualize the empty bottles and white powder that intoxicated his love from a previous night. He could feel the sensation over his eye and the pain in his heart from that night. The words stuck with him. They replayed over and over like a broken record.

The foundation had washed off, Ashton woke up.

Staring down at the bruise with a mix of blue and purple surrounding the puffy green eye, Ashton frowned. However, Michael smiled small, brushing the honey-blond hair that fell in front of the older's face. "I forgive you."


End file.
